Stop Making the Spork - Please

The spork...what a terrible instrument of frustration. It's a spoon, it's a fork, it's a spoon/fork; but it doesn't perform either job well. Theoretically, it's a dynamic multi-purpose tool but in application it's utterly, utterly useless.

A Google search of the word spork didn’t yield any concrete revelations on its origin. Some say the spork dates back to the 1960's others say the '40's while some information indicates that early 'proto-sporks' have been around since the mid 1800's.

Let’s just agree that the spork has been kicking around, in one form or another, for a while now; longer than I’d like. It takes time to iron the kinks out of an idea; I get that. But, if the spork was going to be a viable, mainstream utensil, shouldn't it have been perfected by now? Shouldn't I be able to pick up a french fry or eat a bowl of soup?

Spork sightings have become less common these days but they do remain a staple in certain low-end swilleries. They are also highly recommended for hikers, campers, vagrants and other outdoor adventurer types. They’re meant to be very practical when one is on the move and travelling light. Realistically though, if you have the capacity, in your gear, to carry a spork; can you not carry an individual fork and spoon? Nest them together and put an elastic band around them if you're worried about them getting separated.

My point is, a fork is very good at forking and a spoon is very good at spooning, but a spork is very good at nothing. Please stop inflicting them on the innocent.